their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
