she was so not down for the gang bang
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
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