I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
