You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
