She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
