There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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