If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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