The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
