i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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