Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
