I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
