I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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