Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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