I want you more than these girls want KFC
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
