A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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