Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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