i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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