I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
