that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
