Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
someone threw a dead crab at me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize