Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
