Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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