My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
