yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
