Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize