community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
