Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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