Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
