i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
