I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
