every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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