I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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