Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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