Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
