Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
