this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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