Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I smell like Dick and happiness
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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