he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
