part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
