she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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