My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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