There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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