I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
