You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
