..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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