You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
