Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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