yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
