Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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