If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
