i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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