is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
