Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
