Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
