I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
