She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I need to sanitize my soul.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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