ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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