why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
