i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
