I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
