Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
