Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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