I think I am morally bankrupt
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
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