sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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