dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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